Take Time to Cool Off

Misunderstandings abound in e-mail. Many times simply due to one side not taking the time to ensure that their message and intent is clear, while the other side reads into the e-mail things that may not be there.

That is why it is always so important if you get an e-mail that upsets you to:

1. First, take the words at face value and don't assume anything. If you are not sure of intent or the tone relayed, ask for clarification before you spend the energy being upset and snapping back with an emotional response.


2. Then, take a deep breath. If you are sure the other side is purposefully trying to be upsetting or rude, wait until the next day, if at all, to reply. Many times rude and malicious e-mailers do not deserve a response. Just leave those who can only communicate by being nasty wallowing in their wait for a response from you that will never come. ;-)

A great majority of misunderstandings are because one side didn't realize how the words they chose and how they chose to write them (formatting, bolding, red text, caps, etc.) may be taken based on the relationship dynamics with the person on the other side of the screen.

One can send the very same e-mail to a bunch of folks and find it to be perceived differently because of the contrast in the type of relationships you have with each person and how well they know you.

The best rule of thumb is to take time to cool off. Typing out an emotional reply never solves anything. You may be surprised how you will have a different point of view when you review the e-mail the next day to determine even if it is worth a response.