Dating Web Site E-mail Etiquette?

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had with a Web site visitor who was sick and tired of the lack of etiquette on Dating Web sites:

I have a pet peeve. I belong to several online Web dating sites. I should say that I am a 61-year-old woman, though a very young 61-year-old! I think I am quite attractive, intelligent, and accomplished.

With online dating sites, folks don't feel the need to be courteous because there are no repercussions or accountability for not doing so.

Often when I contact a man whose profile I like, he doesn't even bother to answer. I try at least to send a short polite "No, thank you." when someone contacts me and I'm not interested and some men do this too, but more often than not, they just don't bother to write back.

Well, unfortunately, you are more courteous that most.

It really annoys me and seems insulting and rude.

It is rude--to not respond to an inquiry or the fact someone showed interest in you is very selfish and rude. If one is listed on such sites to encourgage contacts, they should at the very least offer the common courtesy of a response.

After all, if someone introduced us (out in the real world), the guy would show some semblance of politeness. On occasion, I've contacted the guy a second time and expressed my disappointment in their not answering, and usually, when prodded, they do write something. Am I crazy to expect a reply?

No you are not crazy!! Don't make this about you--it is about them! Many people hide behind these screens because they know you can't see them and that they are not be held accountable for their actions. It isn't you--it is the other side that doesn't know how to behave properly. Instead look at it from a positive POV; you found out they lack common courtesy even before you wasted another moment.

Some dating sites have "canned" short, polite answers you can use if you don't want to write a personal "No thanks." What is the official word on this?

The official word is you always provide a courteous response when someone e-mails you. That is just the right thing to do.

Thanks for any insights you can shed on this dilemma! I really appreciate it and want to know what I can do about it if anything.

There is nothing you can do but to continue being you. We can't control other's behavior and I would look at it that if they didn't respond they probably are not the type of guy who shares your beliefs on how to treat others anyway.

If they don't respond, fine. They are the ones loosing out on someone who has manners and courtesy--which are rare commodities in this day and age where we live in a culture of "me, me, everything is about me." I know it is easier said than done but don't take it personally. These are "men" who don't have the intestinal fortitude to at the very least show a lady some courtesy. So who needs them?!