Is E-mail Too Easy?

A concerned site visitor comments:

"Do we overuse e-mail as a communication medium? In many instances, e-mail is the "easy approach" but not necessarily the best approach."

Yes we are. Many have chosen to take the lazy, easy way out and not pick up the old fashioned telephone or have an in-person meeting when that is what is called for or best for the situation at hand.

E-mail is too easy. Hit a few keys and off your e-mail goes. A healthy portion of those using e-mail still do not even make the minor efforts necessary to communicate with clarity or even use e-mail properly!

I get contacted by those who get notifications of a relatives death by e-mail, Dear John letters, as well as e-mails filled with vitriol and insults all by folks who chicken out by using e-mail rather the choosing the phone or meeting in person.

E-mail is a tool. Whether for business or personal use, it is all up to each individual's discretion and business savvy to know when and how to use it properly.

For personal use, everyone knows darned well when it is best to pick up the phone and have a intimate conversation in lieu of sending an e-mail.

Those who truly understand business will not fall into the e-mail everything trap. While those who choose the path of least resistance will not be as successful at nurturing business relationships and partnerships.

Your gut knows what is right; listen to it!

How to Handle Errors in Mailings

We are only human. I've yet to run into anyone who is perfect or never makes a mistake. Over the years, I've lost count of the number of mailings I receive where the link contained within is either "404 Not Found" or does not take me to where the e-mail stated it would.

This is generally due to the sales folks not double-checking with the tech folks to make sure that they are ready for customers to be sent to the new page, survey or information that the e-mail mailing is promoting.

What is one to do when they find that they have prematurely sent out an e-mail to a not yet ready URL? Easy... Send a short and sweet follow-up and humbly apologize for the oversight and include either the correct URL or repeat the Web site address that you have now checked is up and running.

Whenever you make mistakes, acknowledging their existence and correcting the situation promptly will make your error seem less consequential.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900),

Does Size Matter?

A site visitor to NetManners.com inquires:

Does the font size matter in an e-mail? What I mean is if your font is large does it also mean that the person is yelling or screaming at you?

Not necessarily... It would make a difference on how the larger font is used. Is it the entire e-mail or just certain words/terms?

Unless the sender or recipient is vision impaired and requires the larger font size so they can see better, anything larger than the standard default font size can be perceived as adding emphasis. Otherwise why would one make the font larger?

If one is visioned impaired and having a larger font makes it easier for them, then all they need to do is make the font larger for when they type their message and then reduce it back to default when they send.

This is all about perception and trying to determine one's intent by how they choose to communicate with their e-mail. Including the courtesy to return the font to a normal size if you are increasing it purely for your own benefit.

Since it takes a manual setting change to increase font size -- folks will wonder what the reason is for doing so just as you did. And if certain words or phrases ares much larger, yes, one can assume the sender meant to yell or scream.

Monday's E-mail Mewl: Unannounced Attachments

When sending attachments, the Sender is all too often concerned only about what they want to accomplish. In this case, sending their attachments to whomever they want to have them.

The problem here is that by doing so, one risks shutting down the other side's e-mail box with their large unannounced attachments. Most photo files right out of the camera are megs in size. Excel or Access spreadsheets and even PDF files can fill a 5-10M e-mail inbox to capacity in one fell swoop.

What happens next? All subsequent e-mails bounce back as undeliverable due to over quota. There could have been important e-mails that the recipient was expecting that now are bounced back and not received. All because a Sender did not take the time to think about how their actions could effect others.

The solution?

1. All photo files need not be larger than 600 pixels in width. Learn how to resize or resample photos BEFORE sending.
2. Access or Excel files only are openable by those who have that software. You should always confirm even if the other side has those programs before sending a file they may not be able to open anyway!
3. For business related attachments, only send during business hours when the other side is there to keep their inbox clear and have the courtesy to ask first when would be the best time to send them.

This Sunday, one of my clients sent over 20M of files to be integrated into their site. On a Sunday! Luckily, I logged on to check an eBaY auction I was interested in or I would have experienced a shutdown. This client has been asked ad nauseam to please only send attachments during business hours and to give me a heads up when doing so.

I guess, as so many do, he was only interested in accomplishing his task rather than making the extra effort to honor my numerous requests by not sending such large files outside of business hours. How his actions could have effected me was a mute point -- he wanted to send his files and did so ignoring my previous requests.

Do yourself and those you e-mail a favor. Think before you attach! You'll look tech savvy and your contacts will without a doubt appreciate your extra effort and courtesy.

Don't Attach That!

No Response Considerations

In a little over a decade we can't live without our e-mail. And to think a mere 12 years ago when I was all excited about CompuServe and opened my little Internet Studio on the IL/WI border, everyone thought I was nuts!

Fast forward to now and we want it now! E-mail should be in the inbox of the recipient within moments after we click the Send button. Those we send to should stop the presses and any other responsibilities they may have and answer our e-mails now. Not later, not in an hour, NOW!

Our expectations have become unrealistic. There will be times when e-mail takes longer to get to the other side due to unknown network or geographical issues. And, believe it or not, not everyone you e-mail is sitting in front of their computers 24/7 waiting for your e-mail so they can respond. I know it is hard to believe, but it's true.

Before assuming someone is ignoring you or not responding as fast as you believe they should, here are some issues you should consider:

1. Was there anything spammy in your e-mail that may have caused it to be blocked? This happens all the time with all the spyware, adware and spam filtering going on. Check out my article: How To Avoid Looking Spammy
   
   
2. Keep in mind that folks have other responsibilities and may be away from the computer. Rare are those that provide instant responses or who are online all the time when your e-mails come through. If something is that important that it can't wait for you to do an e-mail follow up the next day, pick up the old fashioned telephone.
   
   
3. Computer and software crashes happen all the time deleting files and e-mails. When following up the next day, ask if your e-mail was received and ask politely when you can expect a response before assuming you are being ignored.

The above issues require you think about the other side -- not just that you sent an e-mail that you want a response to now. Keep your expectations in check!

Blackberry Etiquette?

Is Blackberry Etiquette any different than E-mail Etiquette? Nope. However, for some reason I get e-mails daily asking about Blackberry Etiquette as though by virtue of the device, courtesy doesn't apply. Mainly the checking and responding to e-mails while in a meeting.

If you think about it, Etiquette in general is just a way to behave when taking into consideration how your actions (or lack thereof) could have an affect on others. Technology use, whether it be e-mail, Blackberrys, IMs or even cell phones does not mean you do what you want, how you want or when you want without consideration for proper practices and for others. Sadly, all too many think that with technology anything goes. Wrong.

Regardless of what tool you are using, you simply need to be aware of how to use it properly with consideration for others. This means not answering e-mails on your Blackberry when in a meeting. Or talking loudly on your cell phone where others are privy to your conversation whether they like it or not (movies, restaurants, etc.). Or sending/forwarding e-mails exposing all your contact's addresses to strangers.

To hide behind technology as an excuse to not be courteous because the other side isn't there for you to be accountable to, is self-serving at best. To reply to e-mails on your Blackberry while in a meeting clearly reflects your lack of business savvy and professionalism. Your full attention should be on the meeting.

Courtesy and perception go hand in hand. Without courtesy, the perceptions you leave in your wake will tell people exactly what they need to know about you -- and it probably won't be positive.

E-mails Should Not be Manifestos

E-mail is not the venue for rambling random thoughts, your latest tirade or manifesto about whatever your brain sparks at the moment -- save that for your Blog. Long e-mails, especially those without paragraph breaks every several sentences don't get read. They get scanned. I've even caught myself scanning instead of reading when I am pressed for time.

That is why bullet points are your friends. Visually they don't look like too much to tackle and subconsciously the recipient thinks they can acquire your points in little tid-bits so they are more likely to read your e-mail in its entirety.

=> Use brief and succinct bullet points when covering numerous thoughts or issues so they have a better chance to be absorbed and applied/replied to.

=> No need to code HTML bullet points use => or * to separate your points.

=> If you find a topic requires more coverage or priority, have that topic be in its own e-mail so that it is not lost amongst the numerous other issues.

=> If you find that your topic is very detailed, create a document in PDF and send that along as an attachment. This gives the other side the ability to review that topic when they have time and to file/print it for later review.

Here again, you need to think of the best approach to ensure the other side reads, reviews and absorbs your information -- especially if their reply is required. Forget about all the blah, blah, blah you feel you need to get across and pair your e-mails down to only clear and concise points.

Monday's E-mail Mewl: Assuming

I see it every day... assumptions flying all over the place! When it comes to your e-mail activities, you can not, should not, must not assume. Assuming does no good and in the long run causes great harm.

• Assumptions made about what the other side is thinking. Did they state that is what they were thinking? If not, don't assume.


• Assumptions made as to what type of person is on the other side. Do you know this person well? Even if you do, can you emphatically state you KNOW what they would do or think in any given situation -- probably not -- so don't assume.


• Assumptions made about a person's level of education or intelligence. That's a tough one -- even I do so on occasion and have to put myself in check. Try very hard to not assume here -- until everyone realizes the power of perception, they will continue to send typo filled, grammatically incorrect, error laden e-mails -- regardless of their level of intelligence!


• Assumptions offered in answer to a query or question that are not correct. Read the question or query completely, entirely, before answering. Your assumption can make you look like the one not paying attention to the conversation.

These are just a few of the areas where I see assumptions taking over to hinder communications and enhance misunderstandings.

You do know what happens when you assume? Before you assume -- ask for clarification.

Top 3 E-mail Attachment Considerations

Many onliners do not realize the very important issues they need to consider before sending attachments via e-mail. Here are the Top 3 issues to think about when sending e-mail attachments:

1. File Size: Before sending any files, take the time to determine their size. Anything over 300K (300,000 bytes) should be compressed or "zipped" up. Multiple attachments add up very quickly and could shut down the other side's server or fill their inbox causing subsequent e-mail to bounce! Photographs should always be reduced to no larger than 600 pixels in width before sending. If you don't know how -- learn!
   
   
2. Attachment Format: You'll never go wrong if your send your documents in PDF format. PDFs are not operating system or software specific and the reader is now installed on most computers and is a free download. Those who do not have Word or Excel software, just as an example, would not be able to open files in those formats. Again, asking first what format the other side prefers can avoid you sending files they will be unable to open.
   
   
3. Ask First: Before sending any attachments, always ask the other side first when would be the best time to do so. Then be sure to send at that prearranged time. For business attachments, never send unannounced attachments after business hours when the other side may not be there to keep their inbox clear.

Just like anything online, thinking about how your actions can affect those you communicate with will go along way towards being perceived as tech savvy and a pleasure to communicate with!

E-mail "Gunfights"

Gunfights usually end when there is only one person left standing. Unfortunately, it seems this also applies to e-mail gunfights. You know what I am talking about. E-mail differences of opinion or misunderstandings lead to ongoing back-and-forths that escalate in emotion and nastiness each time the Reply button is hit.

Much of this type of interaction has to do with the personalities involved. I've found the negative traits of having to always be right or get in the last word tend to prevail in the bloodiest of gunfights.

When you find yourself in the beginnings of a gunfight -- wait until the next day to reply -- if at all. Hopefully you are not one of those with a narcissistic personality that commands you make your point and be the one with the last word.

If I find myself communicating with such personalities, I "kill" them with kindness. If the gunslinger on the other side just has to come back with more vitriol or nonsense to simply get in the last word, I let them. My ego is not wrapped up in proving I am right to those without an open mind nor do I have the innate need to get in the last word so that I have some sort of feeling of accomplishment.

Always take the higher ground and realize there are good guys and bad guys in every gunfight. Choose to be the guy wearing the white hat.

Old Flames & E-mail Etiquette

A concerned site visitor writes:

To make a long story short, an old boyfriend found me on the Internet. He is married but not happily (so he says), I am widowed. He arranged for me to meet him at a resort, paying for everything including my airfare. We parted only to get deeply involved with each other after 40+ years. Now for 2 weeks I have not heard from him and am wondering what to do. Emails are going unanswered. In one of his emails, he had his neighbors email address and now I wonder if it would be appropriate to email them and ask about him. They do not know of our involvement and I plan to keep it that way. It's the not knowing that is making me feel sad as if a member of my family has died. Please advise if it's proper netiquette to contact these neighbors?

Yikes.... This really isn't about e-mail etiquette, it's more about having discretion and using common sense. As an adult that's the risk you took getting involved with a married man--regardless of how unhappy (so he says) he is.

No it is not appropriate to contact the neighbors. They did not give you their e-mail address to get involved in your affair and that's what you would be doing. This is your situation to resolve in another way. The fact he is using another person's address is a big red flag!

Regardless of the emotions involved, until he is a free man consider your trip one of life's adventures (or mistakes) that you now have to leave behind you. Chalk this one up to experience!

Monday's E-mail Mewl: Asking Before Looking

This mewl will be shared by those who have numerous Web Sites they need to keep on top of. Even if you have only one Web Site you still must deal with the volume of e-mail generated by your site. This means weeding through them, responding to them, filing them and responding to the responses.

If you are online for commercial gain, it is important that you respond to site e-mails in a prompt and courteous manner. That said, what many site visitors do not realize is that by virtue of how they e-mail a Web site will indicate the type of customer they will be. Many unfortunately in their initial contact come of as demanding, terse and lazy.

Many sites have a F.A.Q. = Frequently Asked Questions. How do you think you are perceived when you type a demanding e-mail for information readily available on the site owners F.A.Q.? My sites for example are clearly by me. Judith. My consulting site has my anime-me picture on every page. How do you think site visitors are perceived when I receive e-mails that start with Dear Sir?

Successful sites and businesses have their hands full taking care of profitable customers. You want to give the impression that you are going to be one of those. Not someone who feels their time is more valuable than the site owner's by expecting them to repeat what is on their site.

Before e-mailing any site, make sure the information you seek is not already included for your convenience. Then, if after a reasonable effort you do not find the information you seek, contact the site owner with courtesy and appreciation. You may find you get a faster and more detailed response with this approach.

There is No Me in E-mail [MeMail?]

I recently did a T.V. interview in regard to "MeMail." This is a relatively new term I've only seen used once but it made allot of sense. MeMail is all about the sender. Their views, their photos, their discretion, their personality. In addition, the term MeMail notes factually that the majority of senders do not consider the other side. They are just thinking of "Me" and what they want to do at that moment in time.

The issues that MeMailers don't think about are mostly due to the fact they are not honestly aware of how their lack of knowledge can possibly affect the other side. Or how their actions (or lack thereof) may cause a negative perception.

Unfortunately, when faced with these facts, many a MeMailer I've run into have a visceral response to having these issues pointed out to them (the old misnomer "online is a free-for-all" I can do whatever I want). MeMailers simply do not care to alter what they want to do out of courtesy for the other side or to leave a positive impression.

Here are the top 5 things that can identify a chronic "MeMailer":

1. They include signature files that have religious or political commentary without thought as to whether the recipient is of like mind. In business e-mail this could be the kiss of death.
2. They embed graphics in their e-mail that are either too large, too controversial or simply too personal.
3. MeMailers attach numerous large attachments to an e-mail without considering whether the recipient's e-mail box may get filled and start bouncing other e-mails. The thought never crosses their mind that the other side may have no interest in their attachments.
4. MeMailers blurt out their demands or questions without first typing a courteous greeting. They also don't think to add a "Thank You!" in their closing that includes their name typed properly.
5. Spammers -- large and small alike -- are the biggest MeMailers of all. They cram their propaganda into your inbox or through your Web site form without consideration as to your interest or resources. Those who send any sort of commercial e-mails to those who did not specifically ask for them should be the last on your list to do business with!

Yes, you can certainly do whatever it is you want in your e-mail. But when doing so without thought or discretion as to whether the other side will appreciate your "style", you will risk a negative perception that indicates you only think of yourself. Not cool.

Are you a MeMailer?

Lightening Fast E-mail Replies?

Many believe that e-mail is instantaneous. Depending on the current network status many times e-mail is pretty darned quick. But there will be times, due to network traffic or geographic issues that will cause e-mail to take several hours or more to get to the other side.

Regardless of how speedy that e-mail is received by those you send to, that doesn't mean they are required to drop all their other responsibilities and immediately respond to your e-mail. They may not even be online or in front of the computer checking e-mail to know you've sent them a message!

Senders have to realize that to expect an immediate response, and then when you don't receive one, to send a follow-up e-mail 30 minutes later is overly demanding. Yes, everyone should do their very best to respond to their e-mails as promptly as possible. However, with the expectation of instant receipt, to have an expectation of an immediate response is unrealistic.

Sometimes folks are busy. They have other responsibilities and activities that require their full attention. They may be in a meeting, out of the office, trying to meet previous deadlines or commitments.

So, reflect some courtesy to those you send to and give them the time to respond. As a general rule of thumb you should not send a follow-up any earlier than 24 hours since you sent your first message. And if you can't wait 24 hours, then e-mail is not the appropriate venue for your requests. If a matter is that urgent, pick up the old fashioned telephone and give them a jingle.

Monday's E-mail Mewl: Not Taking the Time

As you can imagine I e-mail probably a bit more than most folks. Being I do Web Site Consulting for a living, between that and my E-mail Etiquette endeavors I receive over 500 e-mails each day.

The only way I can keep on top of this many e-mails is to remain as organized as possible. (You can follow my system by reading my article on E-mail Organization.)

One thing I see from those who contact me or ask my assistance is that rather than respond to my questions point-by-point, (see how to How to Down-edit Your E-mail) they'll pop off a response in generalities. 9 out of 10 times these quickie responses do not answer all the questions asked or the e-mailer assumes what they think I meant or required, because they didn't take the time to read the e-mail in it's entirety. "Too busy!"

What this causes is additional unnecessary e-mails and back and forths that wouldn't have occurred if the original e-mail had been carefully read and responded to point by point.

Part of attaining clarity in your e-mails is to take the time -- make the time -- to ensure you are answering all questions asked and that you understand the e-mail as a whole before you hit Reply and start typing simply because you are in a rush.

Take the time and you'll find in the long run you save time!