Use the Subject: Field Properly

What's up with that!? That must be very confusing if not a bit aggravating. These folks must be new to e-mail and to e-mail software to not understand that you don't put the e-mail message itself in the Subject: field.

He then went on to say how he tried everything from gently reminding them that this isn't best practices to do so and even replying with everything in the subject line. Nothing seemed to work!

The Subject: is just that--the "subject"--not the content. The Subject: field should be a handful of words that indicate the e-mail's content--nothing more. Putting entire e-mails in the Subject: field smacks of lack of tech savvy not to mention making reading the e-mail more difficult for the recipient as in most programs one has to scroll to be able to read an arm's length Subject: field before opening it.

Do you have those in your business life that do the same? Send them to my article on Business E-mail Etiquette Basics where I mention the Subject: field should be "short and sweet."

If they still refuse to use this field in the manner it which it is intended all you can do is reply by setting a good example and modifying the Subject: field to properly reflect your discussion.

No Room for Rude

I've never sent a rude e-mail. I may be sternly professional when in the cross-hairs of someone who e-mailed me in such a manner that I felt I needed to respond to set them straight. However, to those who are downright rude with no legitimate reason in doing so -- I don't respond at all.

Just because you have an e-mail address or a Web site does not obligate you to have to respond, defend or cajole every knucklehead who may come your way. There are those e-mails that due to lack of e-mail etiquette, punctuation and grammar come of terse or rude unintentionally. Those folks get a response with a pointer to my site so they can avoid future misunderstandings.

But then, there are the jerks. We've all run into that person who you just can't win with. They will be rude, name call and accuse simply to be a bully. Feel sorry for those that have to communicate in that manner to make their point. Go back to them in a kind (or sternly professional) manner with your reply and take the higher ground.

By doing so, you set an example of how those with an education, who care about how they are perceived, who know how to use technology with courtesy, knowledge and understanding handle themselves. Maybe, just maybe, by example, they may learn something! ;-)

Personal Responsibility & Accountability

One thing I always make a point of doing when I don't understand something or if an issue seems wrong, incorrect, a problem or "broken" is to double-check that my actions or lack of knowledge is not leading to that incorrect perception.

I know I don't know everything. I know there are things out there that I can learn about -- and do almost every day. What amazes me though is how many onliners think they know it all enough to point fingers, make accusations and come to wrong assumptions without thinking for a moment that the issue at hand could be due to their lack of knowledge, information or an incorrect perception.

In the last several days alone I've had 2 AOLers send me nasty and accusatory e-mails about items they purchased through my eBaY store. Both claimed I wasn't keeping them posted and that I was not a reputable seller. Why nasty and accusatory right out the gate? What is up with that?! Certainly if one were to review my high number of 100% positive feedback they would realize they were not dealing with a "dishonest scambo"! But they didn't -- they both decided to send rude e-mails making claims that simply were not true.

The fact is I did communicate and ship both items within 24 hours! THEY didn't bother to check their trash or add my e-mail address to their address book or approved senders list. I sent the e-mails, I shipped within 24 hours and that still wasn't good enough. Apologies? Well, one was very humble when they came back to state their neighbor had taken in their mail in and had my package and he apologized.

The other, as is the case with so many uninformed onliners, chose to still get in the last word in via e-mail even though their snotty e-mail was unjustified and uncalled for. That AOLer is blocked from purchasing any of my products in the future.

The moral to the story is, if you think something is amiss -- simply e-mail with courtesy first and you may find you were not only wrong but you will save face in the process.

When to Expect a Reply

How soon should you expect a reply to an e-mail? Should you send another e-mail if the first isn't responded to?

One should respond to their incoming e-mail within a day a two. Promptly responding to e-mail is simply the courteous thing to do. I cover that in my Netiquette 101: http://www.netmanners.com/courtesy6.html .

That said, sometimes people are very busy, have computer problems or possibly your e-mail got mixed up in the spam they receive and was accidentally deleted. For example if you do something spammy, like having no text in the Subject: field or typing in all small case could trip some spam filters.

When to send another follow up is up to your discretion and the situation. If it is to someone you know is online all the time, send a follow up in a couple of days asking if everything is O.K. Sending a quick "just checking in" to see if they received your e-mail should hopefully get you a response.

HTH!

When to Use CC

When is it appropriate to use the CC (Carbon Copy) feature in e-mail? That's a discretionary call that some are unable to properly make. Specifically when I notice that sometimes politics can come into play when using this feature.

Using the CC field is up to one's better judgement based on the situation at hand. And, what is "appropriate" is subjective. As I am sure you know, the most common use is to keep folks involved in a particular issue on the same page. By CC'ing them they are then considered informed but are not required to reply.

Be cautious though, if you CC for political reasons alone don't be surprised when the others involved do the same to you. You could end up looking petty and you should consider if CC'ing certain parties will be received positively.

In addition, do not just hit "reply to all" - if "all" do not need to be involved in the reply. Same goes for forwarding - that is your opportunity to remove anyone noted in the CC or BCC fields.

It is always prudent to remove any recipients that are not necessary to, or interested in, the ongoing conversation and review the addresses on the CC list. Courtesy is not clogging other's inboxes with irrelevant, petty or CYA email that does not apply to them.

I'm Being Ignored!

I've received several similar e-mails over the past couple of weeks like the one below:

I have a friend that always exposes my e-mail address to those I don't know in the To: field. I've sent very nice requests asking to please use the Bcc: field because I am now getting e-mail from other's in the To: field that I don't know. She hasn't responded and continues this practice. I am at my wits end. What do I do?

If this is someone you know and have their phone number, pick up the phone and discuss this with them.

Giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, it could be they are not getting your e-mails. If you don't have a phone number and this is a virtual friendship -- try again and ask why your requests are being ignored on this very serious issue.

You can also point them to my article where I cover the importance of protecting your contact's privacy and security:

Don't Brush Off Privacy!

Exposing your friend's e-mail addresses to folks they don't know is simply irresponsible. The Bcc: field should be used when you e-mail everyone you know and all they have in common is you and don't know each other.

One has to wonder how true of a "friend" this person is if they don't want to acknowledge and accommodate this very serious and legitimate request from you.

HTH!

The "Need" for Netiquette?

Some school teacher out there must have handed out a new assignment. Overnight I received a whole bunch of e-mails, typed in all small case that stated:

"can you illustrate the need for netiquette?"

When I get handfuls of e-mails with the same question, I know these are students who don't want to read my NetManners.com Web site so they can do their homework. They hope I will just reply with a good enough answer so as to help them avoid the hard work. Avoid learning.

That is one of my greatest concerns with the online world (and off-line but that is not the topic for this Blog/Site). Folks not wanting to make the effort to learn, to improve their skills, to better themselves so they can participate with "knowledge, understanding and courtesy." Online, contrary to popular belief, is not a do what you want, when you want without thought or consideration environment.

Yes, there is a "need" for Netiquette and E-mail Etiquette! Just as there is a need for common courtesies off-line. To think that common courtesies, knowledge of the arena in which you are participating and an understanding about how your actions or lack of knowledge will affect others are not needed, would be a sad commentary on our culture, don't you think?

Unless we all make that effort to be courteous, to understand how technology works and how best to use it (and help others to do the smae), we will find that the online world is not as enjoyable of an experience as it once was and still can be.

Sad Commentary on Courtesy

The fact you are reading my Blog shows you care about Netiquette and have an interest in "communicating with knowledge, understanding and courtesy."

Although I've seen a marked increase in the interest level in regard to E-mail Etiquette, there still seems to be overall lack of courtesy from many who e-mail me. I am treated as though I am a public servant here to cater to any e-mailers demands.

Several times each week I am contacted as though it is my job to provide information "free of charge" just because someone wants, needs, desires it. I actually get demands (not requests of working together or partnerships) actually telling me to write about a subject, then e-mail it to them free of charge -- I'm not kidding!!

Numerous times each and every day I am contacted with e-mail etiquette questions. Here again no "appreciate your help" type comments just questions demanding I respond "ASAP!!" Very rarely are there any TIAs (thanks in advance) or similar terms used when requesting my assistance. Tell me now! That's your job!

It may be the change of seasons like the full moon that is causing this trend. But one thing is clear, all too many folks forget that there are living breathing human beings on the other side of these screens. Or they figure since they are not face-to-face, the formalities of being nice and courteous do not matter. News flash -- they do matter! I guess what these terse and demanding folks do not realize is that those of us with free sites who answer e-mails personally, and offer what information we can to help are not obligated in any way to do so.

I do all this Netiquette stuff because I am passionate about the subject. I have NetManners.com and this Blog to help. You think I am making money hands over fist by doing this?? Ask anyone I know what my comment to that is: SMTM! ("Show me the money!")

All these type of e-mail do is let me know to keep on plugging. And that's what I'll do. If we all work together to educate other onliners on the reality of the online world and how important it is to practice E-mail Etiquette and proper technology use, things will slowly change.

One can only hope....

What Are Your Kids Up to Online?

Do you know? I mean do you really know? Do you look at their e-mails and check their browser history? These are important things you, as a parental unit, needs to do on a regular basis so that you can guide your children accordingly. You must know what they are doing, who they are e-mailing, what sites they post at. As a parent you have no choice in this matter -- it's part of the job!

Simply because parents may not be as tech-savvy as their children is no excuse to plead ignorance and not monitor their children's online activities. It is so important, if necessary, for parents to leave their computer comfort zone and become proficient, knowledgeable and nosy when it comes to a minor's computer usage.

I have an article on my site that every parent should read and forward to every parent they know. If all parents were involved, actively, those with unscrupulous motives wouldn't have it so easy.

Cyber Parenting 101

Finding the Bcc:

Many e-mail about how I am always harping about using Bcc: to shield your contact's e-mail addresses from strangers. They then note that I don't mention how to find the BCC: feature. Actually I do in an article on my site (see below) that has also been mentioned in previous posts.

Where is the BCC? How do you find it?

Part of this problem is the Bcc: is not in your face with some programs. In some cases it isn't easy to find and you have to search for the Bcc: option. I use Eudora where the Bcc: field is visible just waiting for you to put in e-mail addresses. However, for other software and Web based sites, here is what you do:

First, start a new message, then:

• In Outlook, if Bcc: isn't showing, create a message, and from the View menu, click Bcc: Field.


• In Outlook Express, click View >All Headers.


• In Netscape, click the TO: button, then double-click Bcc:.


• In AOL, put the Bcc: addresses in the "Copy To" box, using parentheses and separating each address with a comma.


• In Yahoo!, click Add Bcc:.


• Bcc: on Mac mail: Open a new email. In the bottom left of the title block is the Customize button. a menu opens, click on "Bcc Address Field". This will appear on all future e-mails.


• Seamonkey: Click on the "To:" button and highlight "Bcc".

The Bcc: feature should be used when e-mailing a bunch of onliners who don't know each other because you don't want to publish other's e-mail addresses without their permission.

If anyone wants to contribute to "How to Find the Bcc:" on software or platforms I've not mentioned above, please do send me an e-mail and I will be pleased to add your information to my list and article "Don't Brush Off Privacy!".